In this series, the DBD Team is taking a deeper look at some of the axioms we use when working with clients. In today’s blog, Jon Simons explores our axiom “Always tell the kind truth.” To read other axiom blogs, click here.
Today it is easier than ever to “give feedback.” Social media gives us an unfiltered voice and an ever-growing audience. Anyone with a smart phone and Wi-Fi can position themselves as an “expert” on just about any topic they choose. The comments section on websites ranges from mindless to mildly entertaining to cruel, abusive and irresponsible.
I put “give feedback” in quotes up above because opinion sharing is not actually giving feedback. Tearing someone down is not giving feedback either.
When done well, clear and honest feedback is an invaluable resource for personal and professional growth. We can all benefit from the opinions and perspectives of people we know and trust. We all have blind spots and need to rely on others to help us to become our better selves.
Pastor Pete Wilson offers this great way to differentiate constructive vs. destructive feedback. His advice:
Only pay attention to the feedback that costs the provider something.
Feedback from a trusted friend, which has the potential to strain your relationship, is worth paying attention to. If my feedback to you leaves me vulnerable, but I’ve taken the risk anyway, my feedback is most likely the “kind truth.”
Like many in the consulting world, we at DBD Group are often called upon to provide critique, feedback and analysis. We take that role and responsibility seriously. As a firm, we have committed ourselves to always aspire to share the “kind truth.” Our commitment for the kind truth requires us to consider the following before speaking: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it timely? Am I willing to accept the consequences?
As a nonprofit leader, when may you be called upon to deliver the kind truth?
- To a potential donor whose gift comes with restrictions that are simply not in line with your organizations priorities or values
- To a board member who is not pulling his or her weight
- To a staff member who is not ready for more responsibility, even if they think they are.
- To yourself, when you are in over your head or refusing to acknowledge the truth of a situation.
The next time you are in the position to deliver feedback, pause and consider if you are telling the kind truth.
