As fundraisers or nonprofit leaders, we express gratitude in a million ways. We appreciate the volunteers and donors who show up to events or support our cause. We are grateful to the corporations and the people within the companies who sponsor our events and the supporters who remember our organizations in their wills. We honor the small gifts that are so heartfelt and the big gifts that represent transformation.
We say they are all important because they are. And we really are grateful.
We’ve seen the impact every gift has on people and on our community. They make a difference and sometimes we are so thankful, we’re moved to joyful laughter or even to tears.
What we don’t often remember to do is show gratitude for the disappointments we experience…
The times the gift we thought was coming, doesn’t.
The donors whose values don’t align with those of our organization.
The corporate leaders who change direction and support another charity instead.
While these disappointments are hard to swallow, let’s take a moment and reflect on what we learn from them -- and be grateful for the lessons they teach us.
Once, I worked at an organization that was working on a transformational gift. We had been engaged with the donor for about 18 months and they suddenly stopped responding to calls and messages. Ultimately, they told us, they ‘changed their minds’ and were no longer interested in our project. We were devastated and couldn’t figure out where things had fallen apart. (When I heard, I walked two city blocks saying only half-words and sentences “Wha?” “Bu…” “I thoug?” “We agre…!” “They promis…”)
That experience was tough.
Looking back, they gave us a gift. (If you had told me that then, I wouldn’t have believed you.)
Not only were we able to explore other partnerships and adjust our processes, but we watched that corporation. The way they partnered with others wasn’t best for our nonprofit. Their goals, while similar to ours, didn’t really match the direction we wanted to go. In the end, we actually had a lot for which we should be grateful.
My dad used to say, “Be careful what you wish for.” Turns out, he was right. Chasing the sparkly thing, the thing that will bear fruit the quickest, or the thing that everyone says you should have, may not be right for you -- even if it will feel really good when it happens.
Donors who have differing values may be better suited to another agency. Knowing this, you can spend your time building relationships with the donors who do value the work you do and who trust your mission and your staff to meet the needs in your community.
Large gifts that fall apart at the eleventh hour probably weren’t yours to start with. They may have been built on obligation or expectations that could not be met. Ultimately, not having them is saving you frustration and mission creep in the long run.
Volunteers who aren’t committed to a shared vision will continuously challenge and try to divert your attention to work that isn’t yours to do. You may not trust one another and no one will feel good about their involvement.
If you know me, you’ve heard me say that I believe every door that has ever closed has led directly to the next, right thing. Maybe that is just another way to say things work out how they should. Maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s divine intervention. Whatever your beliefs, I am convinced there is a higher power that really does want us to be successful and sometimes steps in at the exact right time to protect us from ourselves.
The opportunity we each have is to appreciate and, yes, show gratitude for, these times. If you believe, as I do, that there is a direct line from our greatest disappointments to our greatest joys, it’s easier to bless and release the work, the people, and even the gifts, that don’t align with our goals and know that there’s something better out there just waiting for us.
That’s a lot to be thankful for.
Gratitude isn't simply good manners – it's a good strategy. This month, the team here at DBD Group is focused on the art and science of donor appreciation, sharing practical ways to make your thanks meaningful, memorable, and motivating for continued engagement.